


Not Amaya

by WardenRoot



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 11:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17043113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WardenRoot/pseuds/WardenRoot
Summary: Zari tries to make sense of her feelings for charlie.





	Not Amaya

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fvandomtrvsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvandomtrvsh/gifts).



> @fvandomtrvsh gave me the idea for this and because i'm zarlie trash now i couldn't help but write it

Zari’s in the middle of a routine maintenance check, hands working on autopilot with the familiar motions, when her mind starts to wander. More specifically, it starts to wander towards their newest member. Charlie’s smile -  _ Amaya’s smile _ , Zari tells herself - flashes in her mind. She groans. The first few weeks with Charlie on the ship had been hard, seeing her friend’s - her  _ whatever _ -Amaya-had-been’s - face on someone so clearly not her. It was easier when she talked, in that way and accent so clearly not belonging to Amaya. At the start, Zari couldn’t imagine being around her would only get harder. 

It started changing before Charlie and Constantine went rogue. Ever so slowly it became more and more apparent that, despite the body belonging to Amaya, there was not a single other thing Charlie and Amaya had in common. Where Amaya had reached out to her and tried to help her with her place on the team and her totem, Charlie did everything just to get a rise out of her, to deflect her offers of peace. Where Amaya had been responsible and respectful, Charlie was irresponsible and playful. 

Then Charlie and Constantine went rogue and tried to change the timeline, ending in Charlie’s attitude towards Zari completely turning around. Now she’s still all those things that Amaya was not, still doing her best to get on Zari’s nerves, but at the same time she’s decided to be  _ friendly _ , to pay attention to when she takes things too far, when Zari’s not in the mood to be part of her entertainment. And somehow that’s even worse. Zari’s well aware that Charlie is not Amaya. And yet, when she looks at her smile, lighting up the room, she can’t help but worry the way her heart skips a beat is because it looks so much like Amaya’s smile. Obviously the only reasonable thing to do is try to avoid her and hope her feelings die out. 

Zari sighs as she makes the last adjustments, remembers a time when _she_ was the biggest thorn in everyone’s side on the ship, when she’d gone rogue and modified Gideon without asking Sara’s permission. 

“Hey Gideon, how come you never put Charlie in a simulation to make her like the team?” 

“Charlie never designed one.”

Zari scoffs. “I’d like to see her try.”

“Like to see me try what?” Zari jumps at the unexpected intrusion. 

“Not sneaking up on me for once,” she replies dryly, checking to make sure her jerk hadn’t caused any harm. 

“But you’re so adorable when you squeal,” Charlie shoots back. Zari lets out a sound of protest. “What’re you up to?”

“Making sure the ship doesn’t blow up.” Zari chances a glance at her over her shoulder, knows it's a mistake when Charlie sends her one of her softer looks. It’s only there for a second, before that familiar smirk makes its way back on her lips. 

“Capt’n called a team meeting, sent me to find you.”

“I’ll be there in a sec.” Charlie doesn’t move from her place, just continues to watch her work. “Go on without me,” she says, a bit more harshly than intended. 

“Whatever,” Charlie sighs. Zari doesn’t have to look at her to know she’s rolling her eyes as she takes her leave from the engine room. She lets out a deep breath as she’s alone once more.  _ Not Amaya,  _ she tries to tell herself, in an effort to still her racing heart. It doesn’t help much. 

 

The meeting turns out to be about a fugitive. The creature thrives in the dark and is easily blinded by light. Sara, Mick, and Ray are all leading it to a football stadium where Charlie is working on getting the lights to work, Zari’s voice in her ear to guide her through it. 

“Ah, bloody hell,” Charlie yells, pulling her hand away from the fuse box in front of her. Zari can see her shake her hand through the lenses currently on Charlie’s eyes. 

“Step one is to not touch anything I don’t tell you to,” Zari says flatly through her comm, throwing a piece of popcorn in her mouth. . 

“Piss off.” 

Zari smiles, happy with teasing Charlie for a change. 

She talks her through the motions of getting everything ready for the creature. When they’re almost done, Charlie looks at the door of the small box, just shiny enough that Zari can see her reflection through the camera feed. 

“Like giving me orders, Z?” That ever present smirk is back on her lips as she raises an eyebrow. Zari’s not sure if she she’s still looking at the shiny door on purpose. 

“Actually, no,” Zari answers, she’s never been fond of ordering anyone around, and all this is doing is making her spend time with Charlie. Charlie takes it the wrong way, because  _ of course _ she does.

“Prefer taking them?” This time Zari knows the raised eyebrow is aimed at her. Charlie’s tongue pokes out between her lips, drawing Zari’s eyes to it. Before she can give a reply, Sara's voice sounds over the comms.

“Guys, there’s a problem. We’ve lost sight of the creature.”

Zari’s heart starts beating faster at the thought of Charlie all on her own.

“Stop screwing around and get everything ready,” she says in a rush, needing Charlie to finish up so she can get out of there.

“Aww, I didn’t know you cared,” Charlie responds in an all too sweet voice.

“You’re part of the team,” Zari says with a shrug. She knows that’s not it, not all of it anyway, but Charlie still looks like Amaya, and Zari’s still scared of her feelings being misplaced.

“All done,” she says with a proud smile, taking a step back. Zari lets out of a breath of relief, but it’s too soon. Charlie starts to say something else. Zari knows something’s wrong when she never does, when instead her eyes shut, blocking the view of the camera. There’s a screech and the sound of something -  _ please don’t let it be Charlie _ \- hitting the wall.

“Charlie? Charlie come on, this isn’t funny. Charlie answer me!” Zari pleads, fingers working as fast as they can on the center console in the bridge, trying to bring up the security feeds from the cameras spread out in the stadium. Her heart falls in her chest when she finally does.

“Zari, what’s going on?” Sara asks in her ear.

“I think the fugitive found Charlie, it-” Zari can't help but let out a soft sob before continuing. “I think she’s unconscious, but she’s alone.”

“Ray-”

“Already on it Captain.”

“Zari, stay with me, she’s going to be okay.” Zari nods along with Sara’s words, despite the latter not being able to see her. “Your part of the mission’s done, go prep the medbay.”

Zari turns off her comm and does as told. Technically she doesn’t need to do much, but she appreciates being able to focus on something other than the image of Charlie alone and unconscious on the floor. 

When Ray arrives at the medbay with Charlie in his arms, Zari has to hold herself back from tearing her out of his arms. She settles for attaching everything to her unmoving body after Ray puts her down. 

“Don’t worry, Z. She’s a fighter,” Ray says, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. It doesn’t do much but Zari nods regardless. “Why don’t you pull up a chair, and I’ll get you something to eat?”

“Thanks, Ray,” Zari says with genuine gratitude. When he leaves, however, she ignores his advice, too preoccupied with not taking her eyes off of her -  _ whatever _ Charlie has become.

“You have to come back,” she says, squeezing Charlie’s hand. “Who else is going to spend their entire day annoying me?” She tries to laugh, but it comes out more of a sob.

After a while the rest of the team starts coming back. Zari doesn’t catch what happened with the fugitive but she can’t help but hope it suffered. Someone pushes a chair into her legs from behind, forcing her to sit down on it. Ray brings his promised plate of food. Zari doesn’t care enough to move her hands away from Charlie to eat. Ray ends up feeding her. Had it been anyone else she would have refused but she can’t take the sad puppy eyes he sends her way. She still doesn’t take her eyes off of the familiar form in front of her, can’t even say what she’s eating.

When everyone’s left her alone, and Zari’s prayed for the nth time for Charlie to be okay, she realizes with a start that she doesn’t care whose face Charlie wears, as long as it’s all Charlie underneath. As long as Charlie comes back to her.

At some point she must have fallen asleep. She doesn’t notice until there’s movement underneath her head. She doesn’t quite understand what could be moving, mind still sleep ridden. Something tangles in her hair, running through it.

“Morning, kitty,” says a familiar voice that has Zari’s lips involuntarily turning up in a smile. It’s only then that Zari’s awake enough to realize she fell asleep with her head on Charlie’s shoulder. She pulls back with flushed cheeks.

“I- I wasn’t… I just didn’t want you to be alone if -  _ when -  _ you woke up.” It’s not a total lie, even if it isn’t the full truth.

Charlie smiles up at her, fingers still running through her hair weakly. For the first time Zari sees the smile and can only think of the woman currently in front of her.

“Thanks,” Charlie says, a rare flash of vulnerability on her face, then adds, so quietly Zari almost doesn’t hear it, “I can’t remember the last time someone cared enough to…” The vulnerability disappears, the bright smile returning to her lips, her eyes sparkling as they look into Zari’s. Zari finds herself mesmerized by those dark, glinting eyes. Charlie’s tongue pokes out and Zari’s eyes drop to her lips. The hand in her hair stops moving through it, grabs the back of her head instead and pushes it back down.

When their lips meet a rush of emotion flows through Zari. There’s relief at Charlie being okay, bliss at finally kissing her - finally having Charlie do something with her mouth that isn’t getting on her nerves, and something else she’s not quite ready to name. When they pull apart the smile is still on Charlie’s lips, as bright as it’s ever been. Zari thinks she’d be all too happy to lose herself in it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [@wardenroot](http://wardenroot.tumblr.com)


End file.
